The UnComfortable Art of Doing Nothing

Most people smile at the thought of a lazy Sunday: pajamas all day, a marathon of shows, no errands on the horizon. For many, these moments are a welcomed oasis of rest. For me, however, it’s the stuff of nightmares. I’ve spent my whole life feeling uneasy with the idea of simply relaxing. Christmas, my birthday — days when it’s perfectly acceptable to kick back — still come with an internal drive to be productive, to stay busy, and to constantly check something off my to-do list.

The Double-Edged Sword of Constant Productivity

My insatiable need to always be in motion does come with its benefits. I have no shortage of achievements: tasks get done promptly, deadlines are met without fail, and I rarely have to scramble at the last minute. There’s a certain pride in knowing I can power through obligations, no matter the day. It’s a trait that’s helped me excel in work, manage multiple projects, and keep my life organized.

But on the flip side, never truly allowing myself to pause has its obvious downsides. I’ve faced burnout before — feeling stretched so thin that my motivation wavers and my creativity suffers. My body and mind crave rest, but the pressure I put on myself to always be “doing” often wins out.

Why Is Rest So Unsettling?

It would be easy to chalk this up to a simple inability to rest or an overactive mind. Yet, I believe it goes deeper than that. The discomfort I feel in stillness might stem from a fear of sitting with my own thoughts — of being alone with the inner voice that isn’t always kind or straightforward. Productivity can be a distraction, a barrier between me and the introspection that arises in silence.

I’ve come to realize that pushing myself relentlessly doesn’t just avoid rest; it also avoids self-reflection. When I fill my days with tasks, there’s no room for the quiet moments that reveal who I am, what I need, and what I fear.

Learning the Balance

Acknowledging the real reason behind my nonstop motion is the first step. I’m slowly learning to challenge the belief that my worth is tied to how busy I am. It’s a tricky process — training my mind to accept that rest is not a sign of weakness, laziness, or wasted potential.

Scheduled Downtime: Oddly enough, penciling in “relaxation time” works for someone like me who loves structure. Whether it’s a short walk outside or thirty minutes of reading a book purely for pleasure, I set a start and stop time.

Reframing Rest: I’m working on seeing rest as essential maintenance, like eating or sleeping. It’s not optional and doesn’t negate my drive or productivity.

Self-Compassion: When the urge to do something strikes on a day I planned to rest, I remind myself that rest, too, is a form of productivity — just of a different kind. It recharges my batteries and ultimately makes me more effective in the long run.

Embracing Progress Over Perfection

I’m far from mastering the art of doing nothing. There are days where the urge to be productive weighs heavily on me, even if I have nothing pressing on my schedule. But I’m learning that it’s perfectly okay to have days dedicated to unwinding — days where my to-do list isn’t brimming with tasks, and where silence doesn’t have to be so scary.

Progress comes in small steps. Sometimes, that looks like forcing myself to stay in bed an extra half hour with a good book or calmly sitting with a cup of coffee, letting my thoughts swirl without jumping up to do the next thing. Each small success is a reminder that the world doesn’t crumble if I’m not always in motion.

So What Now?

The truth is I’m not sure what’s next. I’m able to string together a good month or two of consistent rest and balance between productivity and just enjoying life, but I always end up going back to the extremes.

I’m either extremely busy and productive or not at all. It’s this struggle that creates what feels like a never ending battle.

Is this the worst thing? I’m really not sure because on one hand, you need to be productive and create value as that’s really how you are gonna afford to live. You need to work hard and there’s no way around it. But this begs the question: “What’s the best balance of work and enjoyment?” A question that I believe everyone is trying to figure out. It may look different for everyone. And that’s the big realization that I’ve had. There is no one size fits all answer.

For some it may be working a 9-5. For others it may be 60-70 hours a week for a startup. Find what makes you feel the most alive and go all in.

Easier said than done, especially as I have struggled to find what makes me feel alive.